The Last Dance…

Like many of you, I’ve been glued to my television during these past 3 Sundays watching my Chicago Bulls of the 1990s. It’s brought on a sense of nostalgia that only your childhood can provide and it’s also reminded us what it truly takes to become an ALL TIME GREAT. Michael’s intensity and obsession with winning is unmatched and that alone makes him the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time). Sure his 6 Championships, All Star appearances, Scoring Titles, and his sneaker brand are all great accomplishments, BUT the fact that he took a childhood passion and turned it into his REALITY makes him successful.

Like Michael we all have passions. We all dream and hope that our lives align with our wildest desires…but for many of us, especially myself, those dreams never come true. As I grow older each year the inevitable sets in and while I’m growing to accept it, I still find it difficult to throw in the towel. Despite that its a must for me to end that dream and develop a new journey. I’ve progressed very little because I’ve always factored in what if this dream comes true? Well, I can no longer stall my life and my family’s growth for a dream that has technically turned into a nightmare.

I guess it’s only right to share my dreams with you before I carve out its tombstone right? Okay. Sure. My dream was to become a Music Mogul and follow in the same career paths similar to Berry Gordy, Russell Simmons, Sean Combs, and Shawn Carter. The plan I had mapped out was to get my foot in the door and work my way up until I reached the executive level. Well as I’m sure you’ve guessed, that has not happened. Hell, I’ve never been able to obtain an internship, but I’ll discuss that later.

My love for music starts with my family. I was sort of a surprise baby. My mother was in her mid 30s and my father was in his early 40s by the time I showed up. My brother is 13 years older than me and all of my cousins on my father’s side have about a 25 or more age difference. With me being one of the youngest I often had to self entertain and that included listening to the variety of musical tastes in my family. My mom was heavily influenced by Motown and James Brown. My father listened to jazz. Uncle Ken came up during the 70s, so he was always playing Funk. My brother and cousins were all into early hip hop and new jack swing. So I absorbed it all. From a very young age I appreciated all of the eras and genres, but my interest were with those who glued it all together.

So when it was time for college, I learned that Middle Tennessee State University offered a Music Business program. I felt this was a step in the right direction and by the end of my junior year I gained candidacy to enter the program. The material was both informative and interesting, and as I learned I started to develop my strategy to graduate so that I could get to work. As I neared completion, several of my professors encouraged us to obtain internships. I never gave it a thought. By this time the recession had hit and my mother lost her job. I naturally assumed the responsibility to help provide and in my youthful thinking I didn’t think I had time to dedicate for free. I went to school full time and I worked full time. I was confident in my hustle and the degree I was close to achieving to help land a job. Wrong!

I should’ve paid closer attention to the forewarnings from our professors as we grew closer to graduation. At the start of the program all of the teachers talked about the joys of the music industry, but during the final weeks they all warned that many of us would quit. Days before we were to graduate, one professor in particular congratulated us for completing the program, but also stated that we’re already 4 years behind someone who doesn’t have a degree. “This business doesn’t care about your diploma,” were his exact words. Still my confidence remained.

Six months had passed since graduating and there were no interviews and no job offers. I reached out to a former professor who met with me and provided me a directory of all the music professionals in Nashville. I called and emailed the hundreds of names in that book endlessly. To my memory I received 3 returned emails that thanked me for my initiative but were unable to offer me anything. I begged to get coffee, donuts, or to clean toilets and still the answer was NO! I changed my focus. Nashville had opportunities for Country Music, but I figured if I set my sights on Atlanta, I could at least feel more comfortable in Hip Hop. I stumbled across an internship opportunity with Grand Hustle’s studio. They were looking for a studio manager and I quickly applied. Snagged the interview and I was on the road from Nashville to Atlanta. I arrived in a shirt and tie and I felt this appearance had the opposite affect of a good first impression. I didn’t look the part! Well after learning that I was willing to travel from Chattanooga, TN (my hometown) which is about 1.5 hours from Atlanta they immediately rejected me. They appreciated my hustle but they told me no. Other interviews in Atlanta went the same way. My confidence was now slowly deteriorating…

To support myself financially I worked a variety of customer service roles while still applying for entry level music positions in Atlanta, NYC, and LA. The years went by fast and everything around me seemed to progress except for my dream. Now I’m 35 years old with a beautiful wife and a perfect son. After working in call centers for most of my years since college, I’ve now stepped into a sales role that has provided me more financial stability and I’m able to expand my network within Chattanooga, TN. I’m blessed and grateful for the life I have today, but individually I still feel like a failure for not being able to obtain my goal.

For years I blamed everyone. I blamed Middle Tennessee State University and it’s professors. I blamed the music companies in Atlanta, LA, Nashville, and NYC. I blamed all digital streaming providers and any other company I tried to join. I blamed those who I connected with on LinkedIn. I blamed everyone for my inability to achieve except for myself. I’m solely responsible for my dream fading away.

Earlier I named Berry Gordy, Russell Simmons, Sean Combs, Shawn Carter, and Michael Jordan as inspirations. I’m nothing like them. They stopped at nothing to achieve their dreams and all I continued to do was apply for jobs. I remained in Chattanooga hoping that a miracle would happen when I should have gone to the action. I failed to consistently take risks and I devoted my time to become a typical employee instead of perfecting my talents. Refining your craft places you on track to become a GOAT like Michael. I didn’t do that.

Here’s the truth — Opportunity wastes no time for the unprepared. My want outweighed my action. My dream was just that…a dream. While it would have been nice to live and work in that world, it is clear that it was never meant for this dream to come true. So this is my last dance. Nothing comparable to Michael Jordan who had a career full of achievements, but comparable in the fact that we both realized that the end is inevitable. He couldn’t play forever and I can’t continue to try when I’ve never received any progress. The difficulty now is not in letting go, but in figuring out what else interests me. I have no clue. I don’t have any unique talents or skills. I’ve been nothing more than a customer service professional. There’s nothing wrong with that it’s just that I have nothing to fall back on and that’s where the fear comes into play. Life is a journey and the answers I seek today will come when I’m prepared. Today I can say that I’m fully prepared to walk away…

Goodbye